The COVID Intimacy Struggle is Real: Do You Need to be More Intentional? Or Is It Self-Care You Really Need?
Let’s face it: the struggle is REAL right now for many people when it comes to connecting with their partners and having physical intimacy. (If this is you, please be kind to yourself and challenge any internal judgment you’re feeling.) Finding the line between being more intentional versus realizing you need to focus more on your individual self-care is extremely important right now. It can be nearly impossible to feel sexual when you feel like your own self-care is being neglected.
Here are some prompts to help you reflect on whether you may need to be focus on being more intentional, or if you need to slow down and refocus on individual self-care:
When To Be More Intentional:
If you're noticing you have desire that comes and goes, and you often find you and your partner "miss" each other
If you miss connecting physically and/ or sexually, but it never feels like the right time
If you and your partner agree you both want more physical intimacy but struggle with initiation, finding time, or creating the mental space
If you both want more creativity in your sexual relationship but don't know where to start
When To Prioritize Self-Care:
If you're struggling with your own basic needs being met or making time for yourself (ex: sleeping, eating meals regularly, hydrating, getting fresh air, moving your body, and so forth)
If the idea of being sexual sounds like way too big of a hurdle and adds more stress and pressure than excitement
If you feel disconnected from your body and your own needs
If you're feeling an overall sense of burn out or extreme COVID fatigue
If every day feels like a struggle or a challenge
Please keep in mind that this isn’t necessarily an “either or” situation. For some people, it may be a “both and” situation: meaning you can be more intentional about your physical intimacy AND prioritize self-care. For others, it may really be that they need to focus on individual self-care first to make more mental and an emotional space for feeling desire.
Please allow yourself to be exactly where you’re at, and try to give yourself loads of self-compassion and patience. Keep in mind: what we are going through is collective trauma, and it’s OK if you need to take breaks and advocate for your own self-care and mental health!
